It appears you're gonna grab me by the shoulders and blurt out an apology again. That's how this works, right?
Look: you can't apologize for being bad at something and then expect to be taken seriously if you continue to be bad at that thing. It is insincere and selfish, rather than heartfelt.
So the way I see it, you can either behave like a normal person who makes time for the people they care about, or stop being so dramatic when you actually see me, even if you perceive that I am somehow bothered by you. When it became clear to me that some people were not really my friends, or had decided not to be anymore, or whatever, I got over it. I got over you. I don't need a silly, shallow, dramatic meaningless apology.
Just make small talk. Be pleasant. It's so much simpler.
You really haven't changed much since you were 18.
Congratulations on your successes, and my condolences on your failures.
I'd also be surprised if you read this far. If you did, looks like there are some ways you can still surprise me.
