On New Year's Eve my girlfriend took me to a party hosted by her friends every year. This year's theme was built around Bill Nye, the Science Guy. The picture above was posted high on the wall, HUGE as shit, "NYE" ("New Year's Eve") underneath. Folks dressed in lab coats everywhere, test tube shot glasses. Periodic table of elements filling the wall, each element on a 8 1/2 x 11" sheet of paper. In one corner they were projecting episodes on a loop. It was already nerdy because the hosts and their friends were kinda nerdy - this just made it meta.
So I'm standing there waiting for the bathroom next to some girl in a party dress, as she watches the video loop, with a smirk.
"I'm from Seattle," she says.
"Oh really? Me too! Moved here a few years ago."
"Well really I'm from Portland."
"Portland's great! Visited many times."
"But this Bill Nye thing..."
"Oh yeah. Most people don't know he started out on a sketch comedy show."
"He's not a scientist."
"I'm pretty sure he's got an Engineering degree."
"He's not a scientist."
"It was a show for children, about science."
Um, okay lady. If you think an engineer isn't a scientist, fine. But the show is called Bill Nye the Science Guy, not Bill Nye the Scientist. Engineering is science. Mr. Wizard was not, in fact, a wizard. Probably. Is your name Cindy the Asshole? Because, you know. Also, this is a fucking party; relax. Plus I've heard Bill Nye discuss science, and he knows what the fuck he's talking about.
AND you're from Portland.
Sweetie, this is just off Wikipedia, which means it's like the easiest shit to look up:
"In the early 2000s, Nye assisted in the development of a small sundial that was included in the Mars Exploration Rover missions. Known as MarsDial, it included small colored panels to provide a basis for color calibration in addition to helping keep track of time. From 2005 to 2010 Nye was the vice president of The Planetary Society, an organization that advocates space science research and the exploration of other planets, particularly Mars. He became the organization's second Executive Director in September 2010 when Louis Friedman stepped down."So, yeah, sure. Not a scientist. Guy who put a timekeeping device on the Mars Rover.
