So a few weeks ago I started writing haikus on the bus to pass the time, and sending them to friends as text messages.
bus haiku 1:
This coach smells like weed.
Passengers argue.
I am more disabled! Move!
bus haiku 2:
I feel cool when I
listen to Blackalicious.
Strut across the street.
bus haiku 3:
I know it's raining,
but how does water get on
the seats? Overcoats.
bus haiku 4:
A man I knew when
I was twenty years younger
walks by. I stop him.
bus haiku 5:
The view is the same.
Desire strikes the same each day.
The same photograph.
bus haiku 6:
Nice boots there, lady.
You must have robbed a pirate.
Now he wears pumps. Arrr!
bus haiku 7:
We don't speak at all.
But morning after morning,
we wait together.
bus haiku 8:
Thinking to myself,
"Where is that smell coming from?"
after you sit down.
bus haiku 9:
Please don't close the door.
I have one foot inside, and
one foot in the grave.
bus haiku 10:
A hint of sunshine
on a dark day like today
is a welcome gift.
bus haiku 11:
Dapper albino
strolling by in his top hat.
A more formal stop.
bus haiku 12:
I am praying that
I don't have to fart while on
this very packed bus.
bus haiku 13:
I am watching you
watch the woman to my right
struggle with her bags.
bus haiku 14:
You give directions
and flirt with that woman who
is more man than you.
bus haiku 15:
Funny bus driver
telling tales of snow days past.
Overcrowded coach.
bus haiku 16:
I stall when paying;
the frantic man makes the bus.
I am a hero!
bus haiku 17:
Desolate shelter
Decide to stand on the bench
because, well, fuck it.
bus haiku 18:
I sit on the side
facing the sunrise; gape at
the looming mountain.
bus haiku 19:
Tiger balm and dust
suspended in my nostrils.
Maynard and Jackson.
bus haiku 20:
Such enormous feet.
His penis must be as well.
Am I deviant?
air travel haiku 1:
Flying to LA.
In the terminal she chews
her gum open mouthed.
air travel haiku 2:
One row behind me,
a baby: kicking, screaming;
the bus is better.
la haiku 1:
Lights are all aglow.
That seems kind of weird. Oh no.
Oh my God it's smog.
la haiku 2:
Lamborghini parked
Right in front of the Rite Aid.
Orange like his skin.
la haiku 3:
Late February,
standing ankle deep in the
Pacific Ocean.
la haiku 4:
She won't swim because
where there's seals, there's sharks. The one
I see looks happy.
la haiku 5:
Santa Barbara.
Clouds unwinding overhead.
Content on the shore.
la haiku 6:
This breeze makes this hiss,
and those waves roll underfoot.
So fine; I recline.
la haiku 7:
Why is it raining?
Still, it feels like LA cuz
the cops are outside.
la haiku 8:
Rain in LA while
the sun shines in Seattle.
But i'm not bitter.
la haiku 9:
I'm told more cops are
out today than usual.
I'm getting a show!
la haiku 10:
Beverly Hills and
the Sunset Strip blur past me.
Is walking legal?
la haiku 11:
Did I sleep too much?
The heat and a full stomach
make me want a nap.
la haiku 12:
You have to hike to
get to the Hollywood sign.
Not for fat people.
la haiku 13:
I wish I had seen
Disneyland and a strip club
before heading home.
la haiku 14:
Palm trees grow like weeds.
The freeway like a ribbon.
Perfectly blue sky.
air travel haiku 3:
Returning to home,
the clouds pile higher, thicker.
Cold and gray and flat.
bus haiku 21:
My hair looks stupid,
and I hardly slept last night.
Time to go to work!
bus haiku 22:
Hot black teenage girl,
obnoxious and mocking, your
fate is unwritten.
bus haiku 23:
A professional,
thirtyish woman reading
a comic book. Yes.
bus haiku 24:
We are so careful.
Trying to avoid touching.
Accidental bump.
pdx haiku 1:
As we discuss life
and evolution, she says,
"we invented love".
bus haiku 26:
Move over lady.
You are straddling two seats.
We are all standing.
bus haiku 27:
When I am early,
I hate it. When I am late,
I hate it much more.
bus haiku 29:
Glasses, no makeup.
Is that a Gryffindor scarf?
Good books, but still. Wow.
bus haiku 30:
I dress like a bruise.
Black and blue from head to toe.
There is a reason.
bus haiku 31:
Sailor compliment:
"I like the cut of your jib."
I am not a boat.
bus haiku 32:
When you feel lousy,
sunshine doesn't always help.
"Sexyback" does though.
bus haiku 33:
Seriously now:
if I don't get some real sleep,
I'm going to die.
bus haiku 34:
She is on crutches,
wobbling up to our stop.
My pretend bus friend.
bus haiku 35:
Two blind people board.
One stop, and then another.
Each oblivious.
bus haiku 36:
I don't chase buses.
But tonight she stopped, mid turn.
A hero, humble.
bus haiku 37:
All the white people
are shopping at Trader Joe's.
Yay diversity!
bus haiku 38:
Drawbridges, cripples.
Seems I will never get there.
I am an asshole.
bus haiku 39:
Reach for dropped mittens,
bump my head. Blame gravity,
and not clumsiness.
bus haiku 40:
Wearing the headphones
to a dead iPod because
they keep my ears warm.
bus haiku 41:
I'm routinely teased
from afar; bus going to
the Atlantic Base.
bus haiku 42:
Grinning and twirling
the homeless paper, waving.
Who waves back? No one.
bus haiku 43:
Hey giant backpack,
please try to pay attention.
You are crushing me.
bus haiku 44:
Feel sick whenever
I pass my old employer.
Weary memory.
bus haiku 45:
Sit down. Sticky seat.
Stand up. Sit back down again.
Only soda, RIGHT?
bus haiku 46:
Sideways cap, pimp shirt,
cargo pants, shit eatin strut,
and wide open fly.
taxi haiku:
Overslept. Panic.
Call a cab and rush around.
Drank fucking Nyquil.
bus haiku 47:
Professional stride,
polished pride, your hard eyes, and
click clock walk walk shoes.
3 days after I started writing these, the Stranger began printing bus-related poetry. I sent some in, Paul Constant wrote back with some nice words, but then didn't use them. I haven't sent any more since, partly because I used to write for the Stranger and I'm not sure I am permitted to be a part of it, and partly because I don't want to be passed over anymore. I really like my haikus.
